We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize