Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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