I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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