The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize