I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize