Say something about gay babies.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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