barbara walters just said penis...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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