did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
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just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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