Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
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My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
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Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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