i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
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I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
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Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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