i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize