What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize