I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize