weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
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If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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