I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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