dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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