11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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