My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize