Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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