You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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