My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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