It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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