I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
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We left an ass print on the piano.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
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Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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