I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
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And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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