Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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