He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize