He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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