i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize