sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize