she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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