I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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