She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize