If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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