I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
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