I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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