mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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