2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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