The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
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