Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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