the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
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Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
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I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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