Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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