I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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