dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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