Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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