Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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