booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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