If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize