The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
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I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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