omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize