well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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